Dan Pashman: Yeah, you guys may know this already but this is a food podcast.
Moshe Kasher: Yeah.
Dan Pashman: But we also like to have fun and get to know people by talking about food. So our motto is: It’s not for foodies, it’s for eaters.
Moshe Kasher: Great.
Dan Pashman: So no special food expertise is required.
Moshe Kasher: Well, we’re big eaters. We might even be … we might even be foodies.
Dan Pashman: What makes you say that?
Moshe Kasher: Well, one of our main pastimes is exploring and finding great restaurants. So I mean, what else is there?
Dan Pashman: Right. [LAUGHS] That does sound like foodie talk, Moshe.
Moshe Kasher: Yeah. I mean, how else could you qualify? I don’t know.
Dan Pashman: [LAUGHS]
Moshe Kasher: Wait, can I ask you, have we begun?
Dan Pashman: Yeah. Moshe
Moshe Kasher: Oh, we’re doing …
Natasha Leggero: Ohh.
Moshe Kasher: Oh, okay. Hey Natasha, we’ll turn it up.
Natasha Leggero: I was saving … Well, I was saving a story about why we’re foodies for when we do the podcast.
[LAUGHING]
Moshe Kasher: Listen, we were not even — just if you’re listening right now, what you’ve heard the last 45 to 90 seconds, is us when we’re off.
[LAUGHING]
Moshe Kasher: So buckle up, because things are about to change. Now what was your question?
MUSIC
Dan Pashman: This is The Sporkful, it’s not for foodies it’s for eaters. I’m Dan Pashman. Each week on our show we obsess about food to learn more about people. Today on the show, my guests are husband and wife comedians Natasha Leggero and Moshe Kasher. They often perform standup together, as they did on Netflix in their Honeymoon Special. In one bit, they talk about Natasha’s conversion to Judaism before their marriage:
[CLIP FROM THE HONEYMOON STANDUP SPECIAL]
CLIP (NATASHA LEGGERO): I was raised Catholic and it’s much easier to become Christian.
CLIP (MOSHE KASHER): Yeah. It’s a really complicated thing to become Jewish, but Christianity …
CLIP (NATASHA LEGGERO): Like Christianity, you just have to, like, walk to a mall and walk by a ladies Footlocker and they hand you a Bible and then you’re Christian.
CLIP (MOSHE KASHER): Yeah. [LAUGHS]
CLIP (NATASHA LEGGERO): Like …
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
CLIP (NATASHA LEGGERO): That’s all that’s involved …
CLIP (MOSHE KASHER): Jews are like, “There’s a lot involved.
CLIP (NATASHA LEGGERO): Why do Jews make it so hard to convert?
CLIP (MOSHE KASHER): I don’t know, we don’t want you.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
CLIP (NATASHA LEGGERO): But you would think they would want more member, since that membership drop off that happened a while ago.
[AUDIENCE SHOCKED]
CLIP (NATASHA LEGGERO): I’m Jewish, I can say that.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
Dan Pashman: Later in The Honeymoon Standup Special, they call couples up to both roast them and offer them relationship advice. They offer similar types of advice in their podcast, The Endless Honeymoon.
Dan Pashman: Natasha and Moshe do work and perform separately. In 2012, Moshe wrote a funny, powerful memoir called Kasher in the Rye, a play on his last name. The subtitle is: The True Tale of a White Boy from Oakland Who Became a Drug Addict, Criminal, Mental Patient, and Then Turned 16.
Dan Pashman: Natasha is well known as a creator and star of the Comedy Central show Another Period and last year she published a book of essays about motherhood, called The World Deserves My Children. As I said, they have their own podcast, which was quickly evident when we spoke recently because they started off asking me questions:
Natasha Leggero: [LAUGHING]
Moshe Kasher: What do you think is the most delicious fast food item item?
Dan Pashman: Item? Like from a specific place or …
Moshe Kasher: Yeah. I’m not asking for the greatest fast food place, but I’m talking the greatest dish available at fast food.
Natasha Leggero: [LAUGHS]
Dan Pashman: Uhhh.
Natasha Leggero: I know what mine is.
Moshe Kasher: What is yours?
Dan Pashman: Are we talking old school greasy fast food or like …
Natasha Leggero: Any.
Dan Pashman: Any? I would probably go the burger at Shake Shack.
Moshe Kasher: Okay, that’s a pretty good …
Dan Pashman: Shake Shack burger.
Moshe Kasher: That’s a pretty good new New York centric answer.
Dan Pashman: Yeah. If you want me to go like old school fast food, I would say the Burger King chicken sandwich.
Moshe Kasher: Oh, okay. Okay.
Natasha Leggero: Have you had the In-N-Out burger?
Dan Pashman: I have. I’ve spent my time in California. I think In-N-Out is good.
Moshe Kasher: Oh, you’re being condescending. I can feel it. I can feel it in your tone.
Dan Pashman: [LAUGHING]
Natasha Leggero: But Shake Shack, to me, the bun is better, but the patty’s a little salty.
Dan Pashman: What about you guys? I want each of you to tell me your favorite fast food dish.
Moshe Kasher: Okay, mine is …
Natasha Leggero: Dish.
Moshe Kasher: Is going to be a little controversial, but I would say that the chicken — whatever the chicken in the chicken soft taco at Taco Bell is, whatever that slew of redness is, is honestly one of the most delicious things not only that I’ve tasted at a fast food restaurant, but that I’ve ever tasted.
Natasha Leggero: Moshe …
Moshe Kasher: It’s so good. [LAUGHS]
Dan Pashman: [LAUGHS]
Moshe Kasher: It’s so good. Listen, the engineer here at the studio is nodding demonstratively at us.
Dan Pashman: Right. [LAUGHS]
Mosh Kasher: Okay?Just so you guys know.
Dan Pashman: Then it must be true.
Moshe Kasher: Yeah. It’s got to be true.
Natasha Leggero: Mine is a cheeseburger at In-N-Out, Shake Shack close second, and then any other fast food I will not eat. [LAUGHS] Except, I do remember thinking a chicken McNugget was good.
Dan Pashman: Yeah.
Moshe Kasher: Those are pretty rough.
Natasha Leggero: Rough?
Moshe Kasher: I don’t know. They just don’t feel like …
Natasha Leggero: Sometimes they’re like different colors, like …
Moshe Kasher: I know. I — did you know this? And I don’t know if you had an agenda for this interview, but it looks like that’s over with.
[LAUGHING]
Dan Pashman: Eventually, the conversation did settle into some semblance of order. I started off by asking Natasha about the foods she ate growing up.
Natasha Leggero: I’m from Rockford, Illinois and I didn’t really even have sushi until I was like 23, so …
Moshe Kasher: Yeah, no. The fancy restaurant that Natasha used to eat out was the local Beef-A-Roo.
[LAUGHING]
Natasha Leggero: Beef-A-Roo is like … Moshe thinks it’s so funny because of the name, but it’s a Rockford staple and it’s like a … It’s like where you get roast beef sandwiches to go. It’s like a drive-in.
Dan Pashman: Okay. Gotcha.
Natasha Leggero: But there’s a lot of online reviews of Beef-A-Roo, people giving reviews in their car. [LAUGHS]
Moshe Kasher: Just a guy in his car.
Natasha Leggero: In Rockford.
Moshe Kasher: Yeah, making deep eye contact with the camera going, “Burger King? Nope. Beef-A-Roo.”
[LAUGHING]
Moshe Kasher: “Wendy’s? Nope. Beef-A-Roo.” And it was a very compelling argument, honestly. Made me want to go.
Natasha Leggero: You would not like it.
Dan Pashman: And am I right, Natasha? Your parents split up when you were pretty young, so you … it was you and your mom was working. So it was like you were kind of the mom figure to your younger brothers?
Natasha Leggero: Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah. My mom was very present, but also, yes. I was kind of in charge of the cooking and I would help. I would iron and I would pack their lunches and we all went to Catholic school, so they all had, like — I had to iron their uniforms.
Moshe Kasher: Oh, this is so cute.
[LAUGHING]
Natasha Leggero: I cleaned, I babysat. I always had a job. I worked at a grocery store and I had two paper routes.
Moshe Kasher: The good news is things really changed one night when there was a big ball that was being held in the center of town …
[LAUGHING]
Moshe Kasher: And her stepsisters got invited but she didn’t, but she snuck off. Natasha Leggero: I was kind of in charge of making dinner every night. So what I would make is this little thing called Lipton rice and soup mix and it’s like a packet … Or it’s like Lipton rice dishes.
Moshe Kasher: Oh, yeah. When Natasha and I first started dating, she straight up bragged unironically. She’s like, “No one can open an envelope of food and make a dish with it better than I can.
Dan Pashman: [LAUGHS]
Natasha Leggero: No, I’m good at microwaving. I know the right dishes that can be microwaved. I’m pretty much an expert in all things. Like, I know how much water to measure. I know you don’t want it too watery. So I would make like one of these Lipton rice dishes for my brothers every night and then we would go out to eat. There was one restaurant called Leno’s, an Italian restaurant we would go to. And then there was one Chinese restaurant called The Great Wall …
Moshe Kasher: Oh, and didn’t your grandma …
Natasha Leggero: No Thai. No sushi. Oh, my grandma made the salads at one of the Italian restaurants in town.
Dan Pashman: Oh!
Moshe Kasher: Well, tell them about it. It’s an interesting story.
Natasha Leggero: Oh yeah. So my dad told me that she was older — Or no, she didn’t have a sense of smell — oh no, she didn’t have a sense of taste. So she had to — she would make the salad and then have to smell it to see if it was right.
Moshe Kasher: Is that how the story goes?
Natasha Leggero: [LAUGHING] That’s what he said, because he said she was …
Dan Pashman: What’s your recollection of the story of it, Moshe?
Moshe Kasher: I don’t know. I remember hearing it and being intrigued, but when Natasha just told it, it felt like a lie. Did it not feel like that to you?
Dan Pashman: [LAUGHING]
Natasha Leggero: No, I remember because my dad made us the same salad when he came to visit and he told us the story and then said how she would sniff to see if there was enough oil, vinegar, onion, etc.
Moshe Kasher: Hmm.
Natasha Leggero: And it’s the old style Italian salad, which has like hard boiled egg, chunks of meat, cheese, olive oil, pepper, peppercini’s, balsamic, that kind of thing.
Moshe Kasher: Her dad came up to me the other day. He’s like a, you know, classic Italian guy, pinky ring and all that. And he’s like, you know, probably has had limited interaction with the Jews.
[LAUGHING]
Moshe Kasher: Although he does live in Florida now, so maybe they’ll be some more … And he goes … and he’s like, “Now Moshe, do you like garlic?”. I was like, “Yeah, I like garlic. He’s like, “And how about a linguini? Do you know what linguini is?” I’m like, “Yeah, John. I know what linguine is.” He’s like, “Now do you like … “
[LAUGHING]
Moshe Kasher: I mean, it was basically a guys goes, do you like stuff that’s good? Do you like good stuff at all? Yeah, I do.
Dan Pashman: So that’s a bit of Natasha’s back story. Today, she’s moved beyond food in packets, she’s into sushi for example. But Moshe is the one who’s really into food. And he’s always been that way.
Natasha Leggero: When he was a little boy in San Francisco, Oakland, his for his birthday every year …
Moshe Kasher: Oh, keep in mind by the way that I was raised with a deaf mother — a deaf single mother who was on welfare, so we were very poor as she tells you this tale.
Natasha Leggero: But also, all Moshe wanted for his birthday since he was a little kid is to go to a fancy restaurant. So his mom would take him on his birthday every year.
Moshe Kasher: Yeah, she would say …
Natasha Leggero: To a place they couldn’t afford.
Moshe Kasher: Once a year, we would go to kind of a high end restaurant and we would have like a special meal on my birthday. So I’ve been, you know, obnoxiously and pretentiously sucking juices off of my fingertips since I was a very little boy on welfare in Oakland.
[LAUGHING]
Natasha Leggero: Since we’re roasting people right now, Moshe, why don’t you explain your diet, what foods you can’t eat.
Moshe Kasher: I don’t want to get into that.
[LAUGHING]
Moshe Kasher: I got a very …
Natasha Leggero: It’s a food podcast!
Moshe Kasher: All right, here’s the deal. I don’t eat pork or shellfish ever because you know …
Dan Pashman: That’s a Jew thing. Got it.
Moshe Kasher: It’s a Jew thing and I just, you know, saying …
Natasha Leggero: You’ll eat regular chicken.
Moshe Kasher: I’ll eat regular chicken.
Natasha Leggero: But only kosher beef.
Moshe Kasher: Only kosher beef and lamb and stuff.
Natasha Leggero: And then you won’t eat fish that have fins in a certain way.
Moshe Kasher: I don’t eat — well I’ll try to avoid all the non-kosher fishes, although I can’t really keep track of what they are.
Natasha Leggero: Like, isn’t swordfish not kosher?
Moshe Kasher: Yeah.
Dan Pashman: Swordfish I think is one of those borderline ones.
Moshe Kasher: Yeah, that’s exactly right. In fact, I think the conservative Jews eat swordfish, but the Orthodox don’t, so …
Dan Pashman: Yeah. It depends on which rabbi is cooking for you.
Moshe Kasher: [LAUGHS] Yeah. If it’s a charlie tuna, he’s all for it.
Dan Pashman: Right.
[LAUGHING]
Moshe Kasher: And then I try to avoid dairy products just cause …
Natasha Leggero: Except for dessert.
Moshe Kasher: Except for dessert.
Natasha Leggero: [LAUGHS]
Moshe Kasher: But I also really like cheese and it’s very complicated, but I don’t like raw tomatoes and that has nothing to do with ideology or my body. It’s just the way that I am.
Dan Pashman: Do your quasi kosher habits actually have anything to do with religious belief or is it more like cultural, like this is how you were raised, and a certain point, it’s just too weird?
Moshe Kasher: Well, the answer is kind of yes to both. Basically, the reason I started making dietary changes with pork and shellfish and kosher stuff is not necessarily because I believe it has any intrinsic value, but because I wanted to infuse my eating, especially my consumption of meat, was slightly more mindfulness. And I thought, you know, here I am, a Jew, I might as well take this system of mindfulness to reduce my meat consumption. Since I want to do that anyway, why not infuse spirituality of some sort, even into my eating choices.
Dan Pashman: Moshe, why did you want go to fancy restaurants when you were a kid?
Moshe Kasher: I don’t know why. I guess, I had like a strangely developed palette when I was a kid. There was always something that was really exciting about going to a restaurant. Especially, I think because we were so poor and so primarily we are — it wasn’t really sustenance, but it was definitely like, co-op in bulk bags of beans and things like that. So that when I got an opportunity to experience food, not necessarily as just a staff of life thing, but as an experiential thing, it was like super exciting to me and always was. I don’t know where I got that from honestly, because I’m kind of the only person in my family who could be classified as like a foodie.
Dan Pashman: Right. There was a story that I read that one of you told about a time kind of earlier in your relationship when you guys stayed at a hotel in new Orleans.
Natasha Leggero: Well, Moshe and I …
Moshe Kasher: I remember this.
Natasha Leggero: When we first started dating, we started realizing like, okay, how are we going to — because I like to stay at nice hotels and Moshe thinks that hotels should cost $100 a night. And so I would just, I guess, lie to him about how much it costs …
[LAUGHING]
Moshe Kasher: And it’s not a …
Dan Pashman: So you would book the hotel, and not tell him that it was as expensive as it was?
Natasha Leggero: Yeah.
Moshe Kasher: Oh, no, no, no. That’s such a charitable interpretation.
Natasha Leggero: [LAUGHING]
Moshe Kasher: She would book the hotel, and tell me a price that was a lie that was not the price.
Natasha Leggero: But then you’d only have to pay, like if I told you it was $200 you only had to pay a hundred because I always tell them, please don’t mention the rate when we check in.
Dan Pashman: [LAUGHS]
Moshe Kasher: [LAUGHING]
Natasha Leggero: And then I also tell them, “Please make sure you don’t put a bill under the door.”
Moshe Kasher: Right.
Natasha Leggero: But then this idiot put a bill under the door!
Moshe Kasher: Right. And we did get into a fight. It became a big fight because it was — you know, I felt slighted or wronged because it was of the dishonesty or whatever. But it ended up — I think this is what you’re getting at — it ended up with a nice [Natasha Leggero: Solution.] peaceable kingdom solution, which was that I would pay — even though now we have joint checking account, we still do this — I would pay for all of the meals and she would pay for all of the hotels and I would never ask how much the hotel was. And it created a harmonious area in our relationship where there used to be friction. And what’s funny about it all is I really thought that, you know, I won. But now I realize we eat three times a day.
[LAUGHING]
Moshe Kasher: We stay at a hotel room, maybe like 10 times a year.
Dan Pashman: Right. [LAUGHS]
Moshe Kasher: I think I got the raw end of the deal, actually.
Dan Pashman: [LAUGHS] But are you also, Moshe, the one where — like, having some sort of power or control or say over the restaurant is more important to you than it is to Natasha, it sounds like? [Moshe Kasher: I guess … ] Like Natasha, you care more about the hotel and Moshe, you care more about the food?
Natasha Leggero: That’s true.
Moshe Kasher: That’s exactly right. And I think we’ve both sort of identified that. We identified that like — and I feel like a lot of couples when they fight, their fight — you know, they always say that couples are having like the same three fights over and over again? And that was definitely true for us. We were having the same fight about the same issue and we just found a way to sidestep the issue altogether. I don’t think we’ve really had an argument about money since.
MUSIC
Dan Pashman: You hear that story and you can understand why Natasha and Moshe have a podcast where they offer relationship advice to other couples, right? Well, coming up we turn this podcast into their podcast when my wife Janie calls in for advice, stick around.
MUSIC
+++BREAK+++
MUSIC
Dan Pashman: Welcome back to The Sporkful, I’m Dan Pashman. On last week’s show, reporter Samia Basille tells the story of how couscous became a political lightning rod in France. Couscous is one of the most popular dishes in France, but it’s also a symbol of North African immigration, which in some quarters makes it controversial. Can couscous ever become a French food? Samia’s mother emigrated from Algeria, a former French colony. She remembers trying the dish for the first time at a restaurant.
CLIP (NADJAT BASILLE): Les grains qui étaient crus …
CLIP (TRANSLATOR ISABELLE DURIEZ): The grains weren’t cooked. You have to steam it, you have to take the time to cook it. But it was uncooked. And all this meat, these greasy merguez sausages, this chopped meat … Everything was so oily. It was unbelievable.
Dan Pashman: In this episode, Samia looks at what happens when foods like couscous, bánh mì, and phô get adopted into French culture, and how people from these formerly colonized countries feel about it. That episode’s up now, check it out.
Dan Pashman: Now back to my conversation with comedians Natasha Leggero and Moshe Kasher. Janie will join us by phone in a few minutes, but first we have a little more ground to cover…
Dan Pashman: As you heard, Moshe is Jewish, Natasha converted to Judaism when they got married. I wanted to get their quick takes on some Jewish culinary staples. So I picked a few entries from Tablet Magazine’s list of the 100 Most Jewish Foods, and told Natasha and Moshe it was time for a lightning round
Moshe Kasher: All right, let’s do it. Lightning round.
Dan Pashman: Okay. Lightning round. First up: Hydrox cookies.
Moshe Kasher: That’s a Jewish food? Oh, those are the ones that don’t have pork in them.
Dan Pashman: Right. Well, Oreos are now kosher, but originally Oreos were not kosher and actually Hydrox came first before Oreos.
Moshe Kasher: Yeah, I remember we could eat those. And I remember there was a Muslim kid in my class named Kahleel and the one thing we bonded over was that we both couldn’t eat Oreos. So yes to Hydrox. Yes to Kahleel. Yes to Islam.
Dan Pashman: [LAUGHS] Natasha?
Natasha Leggero: I don’t know. They seem like they might be dry.
Dan Pashman: [LAUGHS] Without the pork fat? Without the gelatin or whatever it is?
Natasha Leggero: Yeah, I’m good. I’ll pass.
Dan Pashman: All right, next one. Matzah Brei.
Natasha Leggero: Don’t get it.
Moshe Kasher: [LAUGHS]
Dan Pashman: Why? [LAUGHS[]
Natasha Leggero: I know so many people who are like, it’s so delicious. And then every time it comes, it’s like wet crackers.
Moshe Kasher: I know. I want to like it. It’s a food that I want to like.
Dan Pashman: Another one on the list. The used tea bag.
Moshe Kasher: What?
Natasha Leggero: These are the top foods?
Moshe Kasher: Wait, is this the top sex positions?
Natasha Leggero: [LAUGHING]
Dan Pashman: No. [LAUGHS]
Natasha Leggero: This is house bad Jewish food is, used teabags.
Dan Pashman: Tablet insists that this is a Jewish thing to like make tea from a tea bag and then put the tea bag aside and save it so you can use it to make tea again later.
Moshe Kasher: That doesn’t sounds like a Jewish food, it sounds like a Jewish stereotype.
Natasha Leggero: That sounds racist.
[LAUGHING]
Dan Pashman: I know. Although I have to tell you that my wife, takes — she makes herself tea in the morning and the tea bag stays in the glass and she refills the water over the course of the day. But she would probably say that it’s just because she likes it not too strong, not because she’s try … Well, she’s pretty frugal. She may be trying to save money.
Moshe Kasher: And it’s a bargain.
Dan Pashman: Right.
[LAUGHING]
Dan Pashman: All right, one more for you.
Moshe Kasher: Yup.
Dan Pashman: Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year just passed.
Moshe Kasher: Sure.
Dan Pashman: Apples and honey.
Moshe Kasher: The best combo of all time.
Natasha Leggero: What’s even better is what you serve it with, which is grilled cheese or fried foods.
Moshe Kasher: Wait, no.
Dan Pashman: Oooh.
Moshe Kasher: That’s Hanukkah. I think you’re mixing …
Natasha Leggero: Wait, didn’t we have apples and honey and then also we had grilled cheese with it?
Moshe Kasher: That had nothing to do with Rosh Hashanah, that’s what we had on hand.
[LAUGHING]
Natasha Leggero: That was so good.
Dan Pashman: I believe it was Maimonides who said …
[LAUGHING]
Dan Pashman: No, but that sounds like a great idea though, Natasha. I think that you’re right that the cool crisp of the apple [Natasha Leggero: It was delicious.] and the sweetness of the honey would go really well with a grilled cheese. I think that makes total sense.
Moshe Kasher: And also grilled cheese with honey on it is not bad at all.
Natasha Leggero: Yeah, we should always do that for Rosh Hashanah.
Dan Pashman: 100%.
Moshe Kasher: Really good. You haven’t mentioned the greatest Jewish food of all time for my money.
Dan Pashman: Which is what?
Moshe Kasher: Which is if you leave aside the potato knish, is Cholent. That is my favorite Jewish food.
Natasha Leggero: Really?
Moshe Kasher: It’s basically Jewish stew and it’s the most delicious thing we’ve done.
Natasha Leggero: Matzoh ball soup, that’s what I pick.
Moshe Kasher: That’s pretty good.
Dan Pashman: Matzoh ball soup is your favorite, Natasha?
Natasha Leggero: Yes.
Dan Pashman: How fluffy or firm do you like your matzoh balls?
Moshe Kasher: Great question.
Dan Pashman: Thank you.
Natasha Leggero: Firm, but fluffy.
Moshe Kasher: Oh, great answer.
[LAUGHING]
Natasha Leggero: I don’t want it falling apart. I like that it’s going to be a ball sitting in the pit of my stomach eventually. But you know, you don’t want it to be hard.
Dan Pashman: Right. So maybe you like a bigger matzoh ball that’s going to have more textural variation between the perimeter and the center of the ball?
MUSIC
Dan Pashman: So in the spirit of your podcast where you take calls from couples, I am very pleased now to bring in a special guest live on the phone from my house. It’s my wife Janie.
Natasha Leggero: [LAUGHING]
Moshe Kasher: Yay, Janie.[MOSHE KASHER CLAPS]
Natasha Leggero: How exciting.
Janie Pashman: Hi. Moshe Kasher: We hear you like a dirty teabag.
[LAUGHING]
Janie Pashman: I was listening. [LAUGHING] Actually, in my house, the whole family shares one teabag.
[LAUGHING]
Moshe Kasher: I don’t know if that’s legal but we like it.
Dan Pashman: So Janie, I was struggling to say for sure, that’s listed under Jewish foods. Moshe suggested that it’s a Jewish stereotype. Do you reuse the same tea bag throughout the day because you like the way the tea tastes or because you like to save money on tea bags?
Janie Pashman: I think a little bit of both. You know, in the morning I need like this strong caffeine and then, you know, but I don’t — yeah, I feel like it’s kind of wasteful. I don’t like the tea so strong later in the day, so I’m not gonna keep opening — you know, I don’t want to open up a new tea bag and then only keep it in the water for a minute, and throw it out. So I’ll just reuse the same one. Moshe Kasher: Sure. I mean, tea bags are expensive.
Natasha Leggero: You’re doing PG tips, or what?
[LAUGHING]
Moshe Kasher: Yeah. What’s your tea game look like?
Janie Pashman: Lemon Lift is what I use in the morning and then, I love Lemon at night.
Natasha Leggero: Wow. You’re healthy. That’s your jolt of caffeine?
Dan Pashman: Yeah. [LAUGHS]
Janie Pashman: [LAUGHS]
Dan Pashman: Yeah.
Natasha Leggero: That’s impressive.
Moshe Kasher: Sometimes you just need a little Lemon Lift in the morning. Have you heard of coffee by the way?
[LAUGHING]
Janie Pashman: I feel like I need coffee at two o’clock in the afternoon.
Dan Pashman: Yeah. Yes, but sometimes if I’m home in the afternoon, you’ll say like, “I’m really tired,” you know, as if only there was a solution to this problem of feeling tired. And I’ll say, “what would you like me to make you a cup of coffee?” And you’ll say, “Oh, right. Coffee. That’s a thing.” And then I usually make you a cup of coffee and then what happens to it?
Janie Pashman: I mean, I drink it but it’s sometimes sits there for a while.
Dan Pashman: Yeah …
Natasha Leggero: I think we’re getting into your pet peeves.
Moshe Kasher: Yeah, right.
Janie Pashman: Yeah. I don’t know what you want me to say. Do you want me to say, I either drink it too fast or not fast enough?
Dan Pashman: Yeah. Well, I often find half of it sitting around the kitchen like six hours later, and then I have to dump it.
Moshe Kasher: You guys seem like what I would call a happily married couple.
[LAUGHING]
Dan Pashman: Moshe and Natasha, is there information that I can — like you guys take the lead here now, pretend it’s your show. What questions do you have for us?
Natasha Leggero: Janie, do you have a pet peeve?
Moshe Kasher: Yeah. What do you guys fight about the most that is not your fault?
[LAUGHING]
Janie Pashman: Nothing is my fault.
Natasha Leggero: I believe her.
Moshe Kasher: But what’s your most common fight about that you would say is not because of something you do, but because … you know?
Janie Pashman: Well, I don’t know if Dan would say — it’s probably not a common fight, but there is something that I do that really drives Dan kind of nuts. You know, one of my pet peeves is that I really don’t like when dispensers, like soap or lotion dispensers, the pump doesn’t go to the bottom. So there’s a lot left, but you can’t pump it out. So I put water like the soap and like the dish washing stuff, I put water in to the bottom of it.
Natasha Leggero: Sounds kind of like your tea situation.
Janie Pashman: Yeah, I know.
[LAUGHING]
Natasha Leggero: This is seeming oddly familiar.
Moshe Kasher: Right. You’re like, if I can’t get the last [Janie Pashman: Yeah.] little …
Janie Pashman: [LAUGHS]
Moshe Kasher: So, wait. So Dan, you don’t like it when she does that because …
Natasha Leggero: I would like it either, because then it waters everything down.
Moshe Kasher: Watery soap.
Dan Pashman: Exactly. I go to wash my hands, like I want suds. I need to see suds and soap on my hands to feel like I’m cleaning them.
Natasha Leggero: I agree.
Dan Pashman: And I go and I squirt the soap dispenser on my hand and — and also, because the watered down soap is, of course, more watery, it shoots out of the soap dispenser with more force.
Moshe Kasher: Yeah.
Dan Pashman: So you press down the dispenser and it shoots out this like soapy water that hits me like in the shirt. It like drills me in the chest for the first squirt.
Moshe Kasher: It drills you in the chest, Dan?
Dan Pashman: Yes.
Moshe Kasher: How weak limbed are you?
[LAUGHING]
Moshe Kasher: You’re like, ow! Ah! Soapy water. Natasha Leggero: It drills you.
Dan Pashman: The wound is deep, Moshe. It’s very deep, okay?
Janie Pashman: Yeah.
Moshe Kasher: I doubled over on my kitchen floor crawling to a matzoh ball to just ladle a little bit of soup on it to get some more energy for the rest of my day.
Dan Pashman: [LAUGHING]
Moshe Kasher: Okay, but you know what, Janie, I’m actually on your team on this. I agree that it’s very wasteful and I also ..
Natasha Leggero: It is better for the environment.
Moshe Kasher: I will water down a little bit of soap. But I also, Dan, I relate to what you’re saying. I like a little bit of thickness.
Natasha Leggero: Oh my God, I have their answer. I have an answer for her, but I want to hear Dan’s …
Moshe Kasher: Yeah. Dan, what’s yours?
Natasha Leggero: Dan’s thing first.
Moshe Kasher: What do you think you guys fight about?
Dan Pashman: Well, here’s a good one. So like, when we’re going to have people over, we both do a lot to — like we’re both doing a lot to get ready. I like to do the food, because I’m sort of the one who’s — I mean, Janie is a good cook but I sort of enjoy cooking more. But I sometimes get a little bit like worked up about, you know, I want the food to be just right and I want it to be delicious and I want people to eat when it’s hot. And Janie …
Janie Pashman: By a little worked up, he means days of anxiety.
[LAUGHING]
Moshe Kasher: Believe me, we’re on your team. We heard the “drill me in the chest snippet,” so we believe you.
Dan Pashman: So that’s something that we struggle with because like I want to be relaxed when we have people over and I want to hang out with friends and socialize and all that. But you know, the flip side is that we wake up at 7:00 to 7:30 in the morning, we have kids, so we’re up. People are coming at noon and to me it’s like to get ready for, sometimes it’s 10 or 15, people coming to our house from 7:00 A.M. to noon is not that much time to cook and clean and get the house ready. And Janie will be like looking at her computer or checking Facebook for an hour. She’s like, “We have plenty of time, we have plenty of time.” And then at a certain point she suddenly freaks out and says, “Oh my God, they’re going to be here soon.” And I’m like, “Yeah, I have been trying to say that we need to pick up the pace here a little bit.” So I feel like sometimes my anxiety is justified.
Moshe Kasher: Oh, okay. I got you.
Natasha Leggero: Can I take this one?
Moshe Kasher: Yeah, Tash. Please.
Natasha Leggero: Okay. So, well, you chime in but I just feel like I have an answer.
Moshe Kasher: Thanks hun. I will. I just felt like you drilled me in the chest rhetorically.
[LAUGHING]
Natasha Leggero: Okay, well I found out about these things. I know this is very obvious, but they have all these little things that are like these foam things you can buy and all you do is put in a little bit of soap and it automatically comes out as a foam. It like mixes with water. You can put a little bit of soap and water in it and then it mixes and so you always have like a nice foamy thing.
Dan Pashman: It’s got the aerator pump that kind of foams it …
Natasha Leggero: Yes, yes.
Dan Pashman: Right, right, right. Okay. All right.
Natasha Leggero: It’s kind of awesome. I bought it. I put a little bit of Dr Bronner’s in it and I had like foamy soap for like weeks. It was great.
Moshe Kasher: Wait, but what about the other thing, which is the, [Natasha Leggero: Well … ] Janie’s out here like, painting her nails, and getting a tan, and going for bungee jumping lessons, [Nastasha Leggero: Well, here’s the … ] and going for a swim in the sea …
[LAUGHING]
Moshe Kasher: And then Dan’s, they’re like, honey, the matzoh ball soup …. The matzoh balls haven’t been rolled yet.
Dan Pashman: [LAUGHING]
Natasha Leggero: Well, Moshe and I also entertain.
Moshe Kasher: Yeah.
Natasha Leggero: And …
Moshe Kasher: Natasha throws a great party.
Natasha Leggero: What I usually do is do everything and then give Moshe a few little things he’s in charge of. Like I say, “Moshe, make a playlist.” And then he would make like the best playlist way better than I could ever do. Like we have a Hanukkah party every year and he made like this playlist that was like part Jewish rock music, like any Jewish rock stars, and then like actual Jewish music that was really good.
Moshe Kasher: Right.
Natasha Leggero: You just found all this great stuff.
Moshe Kasher: I think that what Natasha is getting at …
Natasha Leggero: Delegate what you’re good at.
Moshe Kasher: Yeah. What Natasha’s getting at is something that we’ve been — it actually comes back to the fight about the hotel and the restaurant, is that we’ve been very good at figuring out the things that the two of us are capable of doing and setting our expectations exactly there. Because like 90 percent of fights between people are because of expectations that you already know aren’t going to be met are not met and you’re going, “Why are my expectations not been met? So, Janie will probably always lag on making the matzoh balls, Dan. So probably you need to get up at six instead of seven and not get up at seven and wonder where’s Janie, because [Natasha Leggero: And … ] she’s busy [Nastasha Leggero: And Dan … ] trying to get a bargain. She’s so pumped up on Lemon Lift, that she can’t stay in the house one more hour.
Natasha Leggero: She is hopped up.
[LAUGHING]
Moshe Kasher: She’s got to run that energy out.
Natasha Leggero: And Dan, you don’t know what it’s like being a woman. She wants to have her nails painted for the party.
Moshe Kasher: I made up the nail painting.
Natasha Leggero: Oh.
Dan Pashman: Right. Yeah.
Natasha Leggero: I thought that was the issue.
Dan Pashman: In fairness, Janie gets showered and dressed in about 12 minutes. So she’s not someone who requires a lot of primping. I think she’s just more of a procrastinator. Is that fair to say, Janie?
Janie Pashman: Yeah, and I think that we are pretty good at like division of labor. Dan’s in the kitchen, but I’m setting up the table and putting the chairs out and you know, maybe getting the drinks ready, but I do save it to the last minute, which stresses him out and it stresses me out. But I think that’s just, I save everything to the last minute. So I think that’s just kind of how I operate.
Moshe Kasher: You know there was a saying in 12 step groups. It was my resentments are directly proportional to my expectations and I think that that is probably true here.
Natasha Leggero: Lower your expectations. [LAUGHS]
Janie Pashman: [LAUGHS]
Moshe Kasher: Well, just you know, you already have the information, Dan. It’s not ever going to change. This is Janie is the woman that you married and so get up at six and start rolling them balls.
[LAUGHING]
Natasha Leggero: That was not what he wanted to hear.
Moshe Kasher: Sorry, dude.
Dan Pashman: So who’s doing what Janie, for our next barbecue?
Natasha Leggero: Dan’s doing it all.
Janie Pashman: You can make the playlist.
Moshe Kasher: You’re cooking the pork chops …
Dan Pashman: [LAUGHS]
Janie Pashman: Right.
Moshe Kasher: And Janie’s buying the foam.
Janie Pashman: Well, how expensive is this foam dispenser?
Moshe Kasher: Ahh, get out of here. It’s about …
Dan Pashman: [LAUGHING]
Moshe Kasher: Just to put it in terms that you’ll understand, it’s probably will cost you about 42 tea bags.
[LAUGHING]
Natasha Leggero: 42? I was going to say 3 …
Dan Pashman: Moshe, that’s about two years worth of tea bags?
Moshe Kasher: Yeah, that’s a lot. You’re right. I said too many. I overshot. There’s no way you guys … You know what? Maybe you guys should look into relationship counseling.
[LAUGHING]
Dan Pashman: All right, well Janie, thanks so much for calling in.
Moshe Kasher: Thanks, Janie.
Dan Pashman: You were great. Love you.
Natasha Leggero: Thanks, Janie.
Janie Pashman: Thanks.
Moshe Kasher: Love you.
Janie Pashman: Thanks, bye.
[LAUGHING]
Dan Pashman: Love you, bye. All right. Well, Moshe and Natasha, thank you guys so much. I love all your work. I love the podcast.
Moshe Kasher: Oh, thank you.
Dan Pashman: Thanks again you guys, really appreciate it. Take care.
Moshe Kasher: Thank you. Bye bye.
Natasha Leggero: Bye.
MUSIC
Dan Pashman: That’s Natasha Leggero and Moshe Kasher. You can find The Honeymoon Standup Special on Netflix. Their podcast is The Endless Honeymoon Podcast. And they also have a YouTube Channel for their podcast, that’s at youtube.com/endlesshoneymoon.
Dan Pashman: Next week’s show, I head to elementary school to talk to kids about what they really talk about at lunchtime. And my friend Kenji Lopez-Alt tells me explains how he packs lunch for his kids every day using a popular, and maybe a little controversial, item: the bento box. That’s next week.
Dan Pashman: In the meantime, don’t forget to check out last week’s show all about “couscousgate”. Yes, they really called it that when a far right politician in France ate couscous, because couscous is seen as a symbol of North African immigration. It’s a complicated issue and we explore it. Check it out.
